There is a formula for happiness I suppose. The trouble is that it is liquid, changing from person to person, season to season.
Articles often boast, “101 ways to be your best self”, “how to be 10% happier TODAY”, “Money can’t buy you happiness, but THIS can”, “3 strange tricks to be happier”. I have found these to be lies. They are usually a bulleted list of ultra-consumable, SEO-friendly content, designed for the purpose of you clicking on them, and that’s it.
I think what I fear most from these self-improvement porn pieces is that they create the illusion that a constant state of happiness is attainable. It is not. You will be sad sometimes. There will be days when you are unproductive and think yourself useless. The down days are unavoidable, but there may be a few things we can do to make them more infrequent.
What I fear second-most from the world of step-by-step guides to contentment is that they all seemed concerned with how we want to spend our lives but very unconcerned with how we spend our days. I often hear that the path to true self-worth requires the endless sacrifice of desire. In order to achieve happiness, it is often taught we must deny ourselves every momentary pleasure.
“Wake up at 5 am”, “Take a cold shower”, “Make your bed”, “Never leave a task undone”, “Dessert is for the week”. These are all actually quotes I have heard that I refuse to share the links to because it will only garner this nonsense a few more clicks. It is as if the hypothesis is to allow yourself so little pleasure that even the most menial amounts of joy seem to be significant.
Do not misunderstand, making your bed and eating healthy can be great things to do. They can absolutely contribute to a happy day. But endless denial of momentary happiness leads to endlessly dull moments. Enjoyment of anything takes practice, and not allowing yourself to enjoy things even for a short amount of time may result in forgetting how to enjoy them at all.
I can not pretend to know how you can have a day that is worth living. However, I know that it exists. There are enough moments of potential enjoyment to fill not just one day with, but the majority of life. The tough part should not be wondering if you have what it takes to be happy, the tough part should be spending time wondering which kind of moments make you the happiest, then doing those things.
When I am sad, it can be easy to think that nothing I can do will make me feel better. It takes effort to identify something that I want to do that does not qualify as escapism. But when I am happy, I do not have to find something to do to be happy. I just have to choose something to do that I already know I love.
So make a list of things you love to do, not for the sake of what they one day might bring, but simply for the sake of enjoying the time you spend doing them. That is why I write, go on walks, play guitar ext. I love doing those things and they are always worth the time spent, regardless of the outcome. Finding that list is easier said than done, but hopefully, is worth it.
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